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"I'm the type of girl that you'd be in love with forever. So good luck to moving on from me, just ask my ex-boyfriends how they're dealing with the loss." - MVL
The "&" is my journal.
Somebody's baby
side effects.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 2:16 PM
I was a girl, you was a "man", I was too young to understand.
I was naive, I just believed everything that you told me.
Said you were strong, protecting me.
Then I found out that you were weak.
Keepin' me there under your thumb cause you were scared.
That I'd become much more than you can handle.
Shining like a chandelier that decorated every room inside,
the private hell we built and I dealt with it.
Like a kid, I wished I could fly away.
But instead, I kept my tears inside cause I knew.
If I started, I'd keep crying for the rest of my lifewith you.
I finally built up the strength to walk away.
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects.
Waking up scared some nights, still dreaming 'bout them violent times.
Still little protective 'bout the people I let inside.
Still little defensive thinkin' 'bout me tryin' to run my life.
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects.
Vacant inside, no one was there.
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet.
Once in a while, put up a fight.
It's just too much, night after night.
After a while I would just lie,
you was dead wrong, said you were right.
Did what I could just to survive, couldn't believe this was my life.
Flickering like a candle, doin' my best to handle sleeping with the enemy.
Aware that he was smothering every last part of me.
So I broke away and finally found the strength to leave.
I was naive, I just believed everything that you told me.
Said you were strong, protecting me.
Then I found out that you were weak.
Keepin' me there under your thumb cause you were scared.
That I'd become much more than you can handle.
Shining like a chandelier that decorated every room inside,
the private hell we built and I dealt with it.
But instead, I kept my tears inside cause I knew.
If I started, I'd keep crying for the rest of my life
I finally built up the strength to walk away.
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects.
Waking up scared some nights, still dreaming 'bout them violent times.
Still little protective 'bout the people I let inside.
Still little defensive thinkin' 'bout me tryin' to run my life.
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects.
Vacant inside, no one was there.
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet.
Once in a while, put up a fight.
It's just too much, night after night.
After a while I would just lie,
you was dead wrong, said you were right.
Did what I could just to survive, couldn't believe this was my life.
Flickering like a candle, doin' my best to handle sleeping with the enemy.
Aware that he was smothering every last part of me.
So I broke away and finally found the strength to leave.